new photos here!

new music posts here!

Do you guys think tumblr will make a comeback now that Ao3 is dowm...?

The nerdy parts

Maybe this month I can like do (at least) one post a day. currently Im 2 classes away from my history AA, now AAs arent REAL degrees, if i wanted to teach I would have to get AT LEAST a masters, and then if i wanted to teach at a uni i would probably need a PHD. HA DR.Katie thats crazy. But if i wanted to teach community college its just a masters i think. HS is a whole other ball game. But some of you might be going "wow katie, teaching?" or "wow Katie that was fast how'd u get your history credits so fast?" well most of you know i took a gap year after high school, well i LIED. When I was dating someone who must not be named, it felt a little shamey to be a nerd. She made fun of Pokemon before I could show her my interest in it. She didn't read many books but when she did IT WAS ONLY COLLEEN HOOVER??? couldn't even pronounce Camus or Dostoevsky (guys I literally have a Camus speech on my thigh and like most of Dostoevsky on my shelf). So yeah, I played dumb in the relationship, and I hid a lot about me, including taking history classes (for fun too may i add, wasn't even planning on getting a degree, still dont it just happened that i took so many that i would be qualified).

Now ME katie is like...girl why are you seeing someone who made u hide the nerdy parts of yourself? well idfk, and if you know me you know the nerdy parts of me is like 90% of me. The only upside of doing that is that I really got back into weightlifting and my Deadlift Pr was like 250 or some bullshit like that. Haven't been able to deadlift in so long, damn i gotta get on that...But yeah my fav trope has always been 'one person cares about something and the other doesn't but they still listen and try to understand'. I guess that's why it's so important for me to take recommendations seriously. (wow im so good at tying this all together) Whatever you love or are interested in can be really telling, and i like to know how people tick. and yes if i care about you, like REALLY care about you, i will never not want to learn about you. and that includes the nerdy things. In fact, to what, date the nerdy girls trustttttttt. To me, to be nerdy, is just another way of someone saying they're passionate about something. NERD OUT.

Idk what changed, i used to get made fun of for being a nerd, weather it was liking history, comics, or like greek myths. but apparently now its cool? idk I come back to this video a lot and it really helped me realize that in that relationship I was closing myself off a lot. Now that realization didn't come till after that relationship had come to an end, maybe if it had come out sooner than I would have been in the same place as I was. Another big example which later i realize was a bit of a red flag was that when taylor swift announced TTPD i was so hyped, and i was jumping around all giddy and shit, and she looked at me. and its a look ill never forget, it was that "what are you doing" look, that judgy look your parents would give you when you were interested in anything other than something that can produce money, kinda look. I think im just rambling now. oh yeah and she was a warroiers fan, not because she was from the bay or knew anything about basketball, but just beacuse someone from like her childhood (or wtv, it was the past) liked the kings, and she hated them so much that she would root for the FUCKING WARRIORS. what tf was i was THINKING

Lets just kill this dumb ass nonchalant shit please. its cool to care, its cool to have passion and intrests. ACTUALLY being nonchalant is so lame, it just makes you boring. ask questions, ask other people questions. At some age we were stopped being told that there are no dumb questions. Theres this Ted Lasso quote, ill link the scene at the end of the post, 'Be Curious, not judgmental'. Ask the dumb questions, nerd out, play darts, stay curious, barbecue sauce.

This is the Ted Lasso quote

PS if anyone can tell me the significance of 'barbecue sauce' ill venmo you $2, just to see who read this long ass fucking post. my bad, ig i had a lot on my mind today :/ nighty

New Oct Recape Cal thing posted! HERE

October has felt like Scott Street

Ok last post for the night i really need to go to bed

But have we noticed how much my music taste depending on who im talking to or crushing on? I mean its how i got into country music no? its how i got into Noah Koahn? And Fob and Panic? Not sure if we should be name dropping exs...so imma just leave that there. idk i always felt like your music taste, or fav song is a good indication of where you are mentally?

idk i also just take music recs and recs in general very seriously. But yeah take a look at my playlists now and like fr its all artist i prob wouldnt have found on my own. A certain three letter artist has been showing up in my playlist, and on my guitar and piano.

"Im waiting for someone who will make me say no to you"

'I'll be whatever you want'

ZBs If She Wants A Cowboy, but phoebe bridgers covers it and it becomes a song about falling for a girl whos bi but can only date guys.

If she wants a cowboy then I'll be as cowboy, as a cowboy can be...Champion buckles, and champion spurs, I got everythin' but her. Now I'm a cowboy and she wants Nashville, what the hell was this all worth."

The OG meaning is actually fascinating imo. 'she/her' is referring to country music fans btw. in zbs version at least.

Yall ever hear of that stupid ass tumblr post? something like "the kind of love that might worry a therapist but thrill a poet" yeah i get it now, its stupid but hell i coded a whole blog bc of it.

Plato said sm similar btw, "At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet".

"But I am not a poet, i am just a woman"

On Saturday, I went to the bathroom AND MISSED REVIAL. THE ONE ZACH BRYAN SONG THEY PLAYED I MISSED IT. Generational flop. Devastating.

Glad to know im the person people think about when ZB comes on.

ZBs on shuffle, and i have a drink in my hand. Be prepared for tons of lyric posts.

Lwk i hate how empty this all looks with it being a new month, and im being emo tonight so expect a lot of new posts tn!

BIRTHDAY WEEK!!!

Ok so eventful week, with the phoebe bridgers concert (10/27), turning 21 (10/28), SF (10/29-10/31) and then my very first halloweekend. LOT happening in the world of ME

See previous post on phoebe bridges for that day

Wow 21, shits crazy. Previous katie was smart to schedule Therapy that day. Birthdays are always weird, which I think I've touched on before. We ended up going to the casino, which brought me back. My mother used to always go there all the time, and like I said before, nostalgia WIll be the death of me. I'm always missing the past and fearing the future. It was weird going without her, but she'll be back soon and I know my grandma will want to go at some point so I'm looking forward to that. But yeah after we ate we played Rolette, Black Jack, and then like 2 games of some weird variation of texas, and i ended up losing $200 thank you very much.

I ended up spending the rest of the week in SF. First night Vi and I went to dinner and then watched the newsroom, and the next morning we went to grab lunch and this cool bookstore where I got an edition of Giovanni's Room. and then also GET this, I FOUND IN THE WILD (may i add), a MASS PAPERBACK OF LES MIS. I lwk almost got it.

now friday night is when the party partying started. First was my brothers friends party, btw i went as Clark Kent/Superman. Lets just say, shot o’clock is never happening ever again, 5 shots in 1 hour, lord help me. About 2? 2.5 hours in i was sitting in the corner just staring at the ceiling. And then i did throw up like 4 times…! At the end of the party we ended up ordering like $130 worth of Taco bell which ended up like taking 4 hours to get there, we literally walked to get wing stop, there and back, 4 times, ordered and got food there, before the taco bell got there. And ended up being like 3 of us by the end of the night eating wing stop. By the morning we found out that one of the people from the party came back and STOLE OUR TACO BELL, not groovy man.

OKAY MAIN FINALE! So I've been wanting to go to one of these outings since ive been hearing about them. I went as Orpherus, nerdy I know. But we got to the bar at like 10? We took one shot beforehand so that kinda helped my nerves. Obvi with this group my anxiety was at an all time high. I kinda wish i took a shot before i got there haha. And yes everyone looked amazing. The music was pretty good, lwk there was more country music than I thought. Honestly i did a lot better than i thought i would, anxiety wise. Im starting to really like some of these people and its scaring me, trying to not get too attached yk. Wtv thats for another post another day. It was really fun though, there were moments that did make me want to yak or throw a punch. But most importantly i did not (yall be proud). Ok its getting late, if i think of anything else then ill update yall and edit it

"Pictures and passin' time, you only smile like that when you're drinkin'. I wish I didn't, but I do, remember every moment on the nights with you."

Forgot that i unhid "I remember everything" a few nights ago, went to hit shuffle on the zb playing and it started playing. Immediately hit the thousand yard stare. Ig its fitting for the topics i talked about today.

Me fr

"Well, I don't feel human anymore, Mama. When am I ever gonna get that karma?..And I don't trust anyone anymore, lover, they all want money or anything other."

Phoebe Bridgers

Lots of stuff to write about but I was planning on going chronological, which would be the Phoebe Bridgers Concerts. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to bring a phone or camera into the venue so i dont have any photos to show you :( but overall it was an amazing experience. Now if were being honest I don't really listen to Phoebe Bridgers, besides her popular stuff but im always down to go to live music. There's something refreshing about going to a concert and not knowing most of their songs. Same when I went to Ryan Beatty, but honestly it might just be the company im going with. But if you show me an album and tell me to listen to it then im more likely to like it if i was introduced to it in a live setting. Since now there's the weight of that experience too. But yeah overall great experience and honestly i think more artists need to implement the no phones rule.

Honestly it was pretty weird for me too, like how music can bring you back to a moment, good or bad. Graceland Too really just brought me back to that scared kid in the hospital, and Scott Street just gave me flashbacks to Theater in High school and again that scared kid not knowing what was going to happen next. Also its always interesting to see how your interpretation can change as you get older too. When we were prepping for the concert, it was one of the first times I've listened to Graceland Too and I was just surprised I didn't cry. And I was told that maybe its because im doing better and is in a better place mentally. And that really threw me. Since sometimes I don't feel like I am, at least I know in a bit everything's going to blow up and its all going to go away.

Graceland Too

”She said she lived through it to get to this moment” has always hit, especially in a concert setting with the company I am in. Without the breakup, hospitalization, London/Paris, the stupid dating app and the ppl ive met on it (good and bad), I wouldn't be in that seat watching her. So yeah i would say i lived through it to get to that moment. Kinda full circle no?

PINNED!

Now if you guys wanted to look back to the older posts, past the current months, you may use the Calender widget!

Just click on the month and youll be able to swtich months! You will have to look at it on your laptop though.

EDIT: You should see the whole page now on ur phone, just gotta go on landscape mode :)

Im writing this two days into being 21, vodka lemonade in hand (LEGALLY), watching THE best tv show ever in the 17th biggest city in America. Is it weird I feel like a real writer, a bit like Sal no? (For someone who hates On THe Road I do tend to mention and talk about it a lot). It genuinely took me 4 hours to drive from home to here, where it shouldve taken 2 and a half, weird right?

Anyways I know i was supposed to talk and post about other stuff but idea notebook is across the room and im just too lazy to get it, I should have more time and be able to write tmr night or the night after...? Apparently I'm going out sat night though so idk well see, very nervous about it tbh.

Birthday Post!!!

Its my birthday! Ill be posting more later, my macs at 3% so i cant really post anything right now. But heres what will be talked about:

- Phoebe Bridgers

- My Birthday and my thoughts and feelings

- Maybe a new format to the blog posts idk yet

- And just random thoughts and feelings

- Some new photos

- And some new additions to the blog page...? Maybe?

I need a travel buddy, like i wanna go to ierland and im lwk debating if i should go alone or not. They seem like a very big place for hiking and idk if im up for all that, but idk i dont know if i wanna go alone. Its just so pretty there and its part of my dream to just go somewhere with my camera. I just wanna take photos, be a nomad, and say i dont need or want anyone but bffr....

Bruh, im like 80/20 going out for halloween now, and i think im just gonna go as orpheus again. ughhh if only someone could be my Eurydice 👀

This chick in my class is pissing me tf off. IM GETTING A CUPCAKE

*opens laptop to do homework...* *Opens VSCode and works on website*

For my birthday i just want really good soup.

New photos

So remeber when I said i wanted to try new film stocks? Well I did, and im not sure im really big on some of them. Ill be posting them soon on the photos page.

So far ive tried the Harmon Phonex II 200, 800Tungsten, and RETO Amber T200 (plus the other stocks that i use normally).

Harmon Phonex II 200

I already did this review earlier...but to do a quick recap, i uhhh i dont want to say i hate them but i think i need more time with them. They made all the photos green-ish and im not sure why. They're def not underexposed so idk. I have 2 more rolls with them so ill try again after i talk to my professor. But the photos that did turn out good, turned out GOOD. So im excited to use again sometime.

800Tungsten

Reto Amber T200

OK wait i need to continue this when i get home...I forgot what each thing was shot on lmao.

Fujifilm 200

I did use the Fujifilm thats been in my old Point and Shoot and the photos came back perfect. That lwk might be my best film camera, but the roll has been in that camera since the eras tour so im surprised it turned out well. Idk if ill post these photos since theyre not like

Tattoos

Yk the weird thing is about tattoos, at least for me, is that I lwk be forgetting I have some of them. Like my Meet the Robinsons dinosaur one? the fact that i never seen it just adds to it. I think im just not acclimated to it yet, that one was more of an impulse tattoo ig.

Lwk maybe I just need to take more time to think about what i get permanently on my body

Ugh I wish I had a girlfriend. Im reading Kafka's Letters to Milena, which from what Ive heard is some of the most romantic letters you will ever read. And I found some really good quotes that I LOVE. And of course they remind me of someone and I want that someone to know, alas its not my place. Girlfreind katie wouldve loved going "this quote reminds me of you" or some bullshit line.

Can someone send me 5,000 dollars please?

I like how you can tell how crazy im going with how much i post, clearly Im going insane now since ive updated the blog like everyday this week. Part of it is probably the fact that if im busy im not overthinking and is too tired to update the blog.

God damn it CoStar I dont need this right now.

"Focus On Yourself"

Suck my fat ass cock.

Transparency

Why am I like this? I care so fucking much about how everyone thinks of me. I hate it, even with the blog. I know realistically there are two types of people who are actually reading this, one kind is someone who is close to me who takes the time to look this up and read about me and how im doing. The other is just someone whos really fucking nosy and I know both types. But even so, im so worried about coming off as cringy, pretentious, stupid, or like pompous. WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH??

I will be trying to do more of these kinda posts, ive realized the only way to get better at writing is just to write, and same thing with verbalizing my thoughts and feelings is just to do it more. As of now the one person I want to have these conversations with doesnt give a fucking damn about me. So instead of waiting for the right time, or waiting to bring it up or waiting to talk about it, ive decided that im done waiting, so instead you get to read about wtv thoughts coming up.

Ive rencently been on a roll with giving advice to people, and for some reason cant take my own advice. All you have to do today is just breathe.

How life feels recently

Film or Digital?

OK TIME TO ANSWER THE DAY OLD QUESTION!!

We have two photos, taken the same day within a few minutes of each other, only thing different is the medium. So why dont you guys let me know which one is better?

Feel free to click on the photos and compare them, send ur thoughts too!!

Phonex Harman II 200 Review

ok I finally got my Harman II 200 film back and from the 2 secounds of reserch i did, i may have underexposed my photos...? But it was broad daylight and i had my camera in 200iso. So im not sure why, Ive heard that its just how the film looks and ive also read that it COULD be my developing place, which i hope now, i love my lab. idk, but i didnt love it so im relucted to use it again. Ill try one more time, maybe push the stock when we develop. Ill post the photos in the photo page.

View Harman Phonex II 200 photos

The Role Model Concert got CANCELLED

I WAS DEVESATED, I came back from my Comms Midterm and got shot in the chest. Unforch I ended up having to go to my second class smh. I was dedicated to make a good thing happen and i knew if i stayed at home id cry myself to sleep so i bugged the group i was going to go to RM with and got them to go to berkeley with me anyways. Honestly was worth it TO ME, now if you know me, then you know that EVEN IF you punch me in the face and told me you were having a good time. I would still think you hated it and would rather stay home, who knwos. Def not me! So yes RM did get cancelled #Tuckerisoverparty, but i still had a really good time and got to take some cool photos. That yes are going to be posted.

I think also, im gonna change the way i do that calender. Ill upload it the last day of each month, ie. My November calender will be uploaded on the last day of November, as more of a recap ya feel me?

Tomorrow we might be going to SF...? Im not sure, but we might be going to see Malcom Todd and just doing a day trip. Will keep you guys updated <3

OH GUYS IM PUBLISHED

HOLY SHIT, SHOUT OUT TO ERICAS MOM WHO SUBMITED THE PHOTOS!! I like lwk hated the photos that got published but whatever, my. photos. got. posted. in. the. newspaper. the local news but nonetheless IN THE NEWSPAPER!

Copy of the most recent email, thought i would put it out.

In my newest post, which is something I've been really proud of, kind of an explanation of what, where, how, all of my photos come to light. Ive been sitting and wanting to explain the process of where it comes from. And kinda just being pathetic, waiting for someone to ask me to explain it. Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, always waiting for someone else to start something. God forbid I take the first step. I sound like my dad gosh, so i did it. Who cares no one asked!
Nemo curat.

My tether between Music and Photography

So I promised on the Spam instagram (Spamgram) that I would explain the new Tolerate It photos, so I thought I'd just explain all of it in its whole. pause. If you look at the titles of the photos, youll find a good amount of them that are either titled, captioned or is just a flat out reference to a song or a lyric.

I can not at all, JUST listen to music, especially when I really love the song. Like Harry Styles says "A truly great album can change the way you see everything". And I have never felt that the most when I take my photos. If I know the song, and if I love it, I can imagine the whole video in my own image. Nothing has inspired me the most then just driving, and listening to music. Some of the greatest photos I've taken was after a long drive with Taylor Swift or Zach Bryan in my ear.

Take the latest photos, that collection is titled "Tolerate It", and it is a reference to the Taylor swift song of the same title. I got to the conclusion from the night my parents told me they’d be away for my 21st birthday. I realized that for the first time in my life, I might spend it alone. Anyone who knows me knows my birthday has always been iffy. I was adopted, and we never knew the real date. Hell, it could be it today. It always felt like a reminder that they left. On top of that, I’ve never felt more distant from any relationship whether it's my friendships, a girlfriend, or even my own family. And yet I’ve been so full of love, love that has been yearning to be released, and for once not for anyone in particular.

(Okay, I lied, sorry. There’s definitely someone in particular.)

So the flowers, the fancy silverware and glasses (the “fancy shit,” as Taylor Swift put it), and the empty chair are all meant to signify that feeling.

The song has been really resonating with me lately, the part about waiting by the door and using your best colors for someone’s portrait. It captures that hope that the specific someone will ask to see you, when you wait for the one text you know isn’t coming. And “using my best colors” is what you do when your friends tell you this person sucks and you just go, “nahhhhhh.”

And then “I know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it.” is just unrequited love. Nuff said!

But guyssss trust that this is ALLLLLL fictional!!!

Heres a link to the photos

21st birthday...!

Update, i think i found stuff to do for my birthday? but it just happened that i still dont have anything to do ON my birthday! So will keep u updated on that ig lol.

And ignore this, im still super cool and nonchalant. baddest bitch you know

lwk like 0ct 7....its like 3:36am

And what if I told you that i almost got in a car accident, and felt a relief, haven't felt that in awhile. My head was just empty which it hasn't been in months. Why does having a crush feel like a crushing weight on my chest? It's been getting harder to breathe and I haven't even been smoking. I've been having to remind myself to breathe to not die. Am I crazy? Am I Conrad Fisher or Tom...? This kinda shit should be considered self harm. Cant even get away by reading anymore. How pathetic honestly. I'm thinking about someone who doesnt even give me a second thought, nah, EYE (I) am the second thought.

but im still a boss

October!

Big month for me, I got mid terms next week. My 21st birthday, Charlies birthday, and most importanty KINGS BASKETBALL IS BACKKKKK!!!!

I have already bought tickets for opening night and for a game in novemenber. And yes guys I did pay to watch the worst team in the NBA. so excited to see my team get beat up cant wait.

A TWO MINUTE TEST?

I saw a booth set up at school today for a 2 Minute Test, and it was under tha bised of christainity. It asked "Are You A Good Person? Take this two minuet test."

How do you test someone's character in two minuets?

And what if i told yall im super fucking bored...

'Must I Write?'

Recently I havent had much time to go out and take photos, which sucks. And I just feel like theres something missing in my life now, im a bit unfulfilled. And whenever I get to this point in my life I think of Rainer Maria Rilke, which if you know me you know that he is my jesus. Letters To A Young Poet is my bible. And in the intro and then again in Letter four, he tells the young poet to ask himself 'Ask yourself in the most silent hour of your nights; must i write?'. And then tells him that he must find the reason he writes, that if he would to give up writing if he would be able to live. Those are the building blocks on being a writer.

I beleive that these quotes, and that book in general isnt talking only about poetry and writing, but any form of art and creative expression. But yes, I do feel like I have to take photos, i feel unfulfilled, and broken when i cant take photos. Theres a peice missing when I go out without my camera.

"If lovings wrong, whats a boy to do? I aint scared of death, Im scared of losin' you. You ain't outta my league, youre outta this planet, but dammit if you aint drilled into my skull."

So Why Film??

Its about the most asked question I get, well after "is that a film camera?". Ever since I found my dads old Minolta, its been a heated debate amongst the family. Most people seem to find it fascinating that someone who has access to Photoshop, Lightroom, and virtually any camera i could want, decides to favor a janky camera from the early 2000s (or the 60s depending on which camera i choose that day).

Well Ive been racking my brain ever since the first time ive been asked that question. Well why do people still drive old cars? Or still go on cruises, or go to the theaters, or go to concerts? Most people would say, for the experience, or the memories. Well I wish I could say something like that, when it comes to film. Honestly Im not sure, maybe I like the idea that people see my camera and think 'woah that chick is so cool she shoots film!'. Or maybe yeah it is the experience, the authentic shutter click, the unpredictability of the results, and waiting for it. The forced reminiscence you get when you finally get the results back. Even that time, where you're checking your email...its like christmas, you don't know if santa got you a gift you love or just some cash or something of little effort. Maybe its test of skill, with digital you can easily just hit auto, or edit it post. Theres little to no post in film, you either got it or you didn't. Its a test of consequence and repercussions, if you miss the shot or mess up thats money down the drain.

And maybe its the intended attention it requires to get THE shot. Forces you to slow down, be aware of your surroundings and look around. You don't have One Terabyte of storage, you got 36 shots (sometimes only 24). and for every roll is at least $14, to develop its another $22, thats a dollar a photo. And that shit adds up.

Or maybe, yes, its just because its fun, and its cool. I never grew up with this technology so it feels new and foreign . I know how to shoot digital, im not learning anything new when i shoot with it.

Terrible start to the month. my new camera got DELAYED, not getting that today apparently. I really wanted to do a photo a day thing but literally failed yesterday. i kinda got lucky because my film got scanned tho so technically i'm still in the game.

Ai in the Classroom

Genuinely why are parents so insistent in putting Ai in the classroom. I was able to attend a forum for our local government, including the candidates for the school board, and one of the questions was pretty much 'What are we gonna do about Ai in the classroom?' and they all were extremely persistent that we need Ai and we need to teach kids how to use it properly and ethically...properly and....ethically....? How to use Ai properly....and ethically. Ai and ethically...those two words can't really coexist can they.

And also like...do your jobs? One of the candidates was running on a platform that emphasized reducing the screen time for the student in class. but then turned around and said that Ai in the classroom would also look like teachers using it for rubrics, to help grade, and/or to make a curriculum. essenaly to make life easier. Now what kind of example are we setting for the students that you can use Ai to make your work easier? If the teachers can use it then the students should be able to as well.

Oh i also got more film!

MORE Harman Phoenix II ISO200 (x2) I ended up putting one of the harmans in while i was shooting a car, didnt end up using it all though so imma need to find an occasion for that.

I also ended up getting some more Kodak Gold 200 just because its so pretty to shoot.

I shouldve gotten the ribs...they smell so fucking good

ALso found out that Cailees not moving till November so I wont #bealone on my 21st!

More New Stuff!

just a tiny post on the books page and some new photos on the photos page are up!

There is also a new Moon Widget!

And if you havent checked it out yet, a new home page, still a work in progress but this is the best ive come up with.

Last Friday of the Month! You know what that means!!

Film Restock! Lets see what we have to work with this for october.

We have the usual -

1x Kodak Ultramax 400

1x Fujifilm 200

2x KodaColor 200

2x Kodak Gold 200

And then I thought I would try some new stuff this month

2x of CineStill's 800 Tungsten film. - This film is perfect for nighttime shots, and uses tungsten. It's considered one of the best film stocks to use in low light situations, like concerts. Personally i'm upset that I didn't get this film for the Ryan Beatty concert, especially with the film leaning towards a red base.

1x of Kcmssertkir's C200 ISO200 film - I havent heard much of this, i found it while browsing amazon and thought 'hey this is cheap i should get this'. Hopefully it wont break the camera...

1x Harman Phoenix II ISO200 - aside from the 800T film this is what I'm most excited to use. While I was doing research on what film I should use, this film showed up the most. And I fell in love instantly. The colors look beautiful and holy. While in all honesty I'm not sure if I'm ever going to use this because there needs to be a worthy time to use it.

1x Amber Tungsten ISO200 - Another Tungsten film, this film is advertised as 'motion picture style' which is exciting. Another nighttime film stock though, never going to be unprepared for a concert ever again.

Yall my birthday is coming up...

please buy me film. theres a whole list, feel free to ask, ill prob tell u without u asking too. Most of you know my thoughts on gift cards, the one exception would be a gift card to this store online called "The Darkroom" PLEASE I NEED MORE FILM.

Life and Site Updates

So im like supposed to be writing my essay right now, but i thought i would give you guys a bit of and update

Its been a full week since I added anything here, well you thik that. I have been trying to add a new page and thats just been taking a long time. But soon i promise! School and Work have been fucking me too and yadadada stuff u dont wanna hear. Nothing major has change, I GOT HARRY STYLE TICKETS THOUGH!!!!! So now I have a trip planned for next April to LA so HMU in u wanna clown. And Im going to another giants game tomorrow and im expecting to bring 3 rolls of film this time so i dont run out. Anyways back to the school grind love yall.

PS Ill do my review of the new Lizzy McApline album soon

i'm not side questing to my full potential.

10/10 night all around though!

Ugh Coco played her best but she still lost, smh. Ill still be rooting for Sabalenka instead of Coco next Match then

sheesh guys my neck really hurts today...

A. Sabalenka VS L. Noskova

YESSS SABALENKA!!!!!!!!! (11:07am)

Come ON Sabalenka LOCK IN!!!!!! (10:38am)

B. Shelton Vs C. Alcaraz

holy shit i was watching this while i was watching a rerun of Cars at the theater. This mightve been the best match at the whole US Open. 10/10 (EDIT made the day after the match since it ended at fucking midnight, aka 3am ETS.)

The Wedding by Role Model might be the best song ever written

Genuinely Major Updated to the Blog

• A tiny bit of whimsy to the top
• *New* Post
• *New* To Do list
• *New* "Currently" Widget
• *NEW* Guestbook!
      - Check it out! You can now add messages and leave your mark on my site! please check it out.

Eventful last two nights

I got some sick ass photos of my friends, genuinly some of the best photos ive taken for awhile. We went to try a dumpling house like 30 mins away, and then we went to the lake so they could smoke a joinnt and I could smoke my cigarettes. And SOMEONE had a great idea to go walk around our old highschool during a football game, so that brought up werid emotions....

And then tonight my mom threw some church party? so Erica and I just went out, took some photos of her skating and went to walamrt??? Because thats what you do in a small town. And we found two foam swords and, the two girls who just watched The Odyssey, we sword faught. I genuinely started laughing like I used to. This kid came up, can not be older than 10 years old and he was so nervous and asked us if he could play with us. And i turned him down and i started feeling terrible. I shouldve just said yes.

Today at lunch I saw an ad for a Texas senator or some shit and was claming that China was buying up land in Texas? yeah im not sure, it seems like Anti-Chinese Propaganda is coming back! YAY!...

where can i get some popcorn shrimp?

pfft what emo loser go into my website and posted that sad shit wtf? #stillthegoat

Anyways, i posted my dream Role Model set list so go check that out!

uh wtf guys.

Yall Odda See The Odyssey

Unfortunately I wasn't able to reread Homer's Odyssey before seeing the movie, but Erica and I were able to get tickets for the 70mm screening in Sacramento. And WOW. 10/10 yall gotta see!!!!

First things fisrt

RIP Odysseus - You wouldve loved Apple/Google Maps.

RIP Penelope - You wouldve loved Life360.

RIP Telemachus - You wouldve loved a glock.

RIP that one guy on crew who died jumping off the ship after he took the wax out of his ears - You wouldve loved noise cancelling headphones.

RIP the cyclops - You wouldve loved a pair of googles.

RIP King Agamemnon - You wouldve loved arua farming.

RIP Odyssues' crew - Yall wouldve loved MREs

If you guys bitch to me about spoilers, I will laugh in your face. Homers' Odyssey is a great masterpiece, dare I say THE great masterpiece. And its older than the entire New Testament. You cant cry spoiler to a book that is almost 2,800 years old.Besides that other than the obvious changes in the movie like taking the Nobody joke out of the movie (lame), the movie was amazing. I couldnt imagine a better director.

Sidetracking a bit, its related trust, today in class we were literally talking about the Greeks, and it was so cool to see my knowledge of the subject translated into the movie. Luckily, Erica had already seen the film, so I felt less bad about whispering fun facts to her. My favorite fact is that while Odysseus calls himself and his crew the 'Sea Peoples' in the movie, the Sea Peoples were very much real in history. BUT historians still don't have a definitive answer on who they actually were.

alright i hope yall are having a great week, im tired, but yall should go see the movie. especially if you can see it in 70mm. Also lwk i might be eligible for a history AA? so who knows maybe ill change majors.

Im sorry for the long post, and i hope you guys like the new design, small changes but its a sneak peek for what more is to come. There a new photos too! Okay Goodnight! *cue Taylor Swifts Lover, my exit song*.

So Ive come to the conclusion that at most, the people who sign up for this newsletter will only be getting 1 email a week for me. Im trying to keep it manageable for myself and for you guys, especially since school has started and I know that people's email is connected to said school. So im trying to let those emails past through first.

Im turning 21 in less than two months now, and people i know whos birthday is in december are already planning on what theyre doing. So should i start planning now?? Itll be my 21st! Thats huge no? i feel kind of lame for just wanting to get dinner with my nephew and his family. My parents wont be here so should I throw a rager? Do I even know enough people to throw a rager? I find it kind of lame to just want to go to a kings game.

Lastly for this night, my new photo class. I like the professor so far, so what im about to say has nothing to do with him. But oh my god that class is so boring, agian not because of the professor, but because i just know all this stuff already. Hopefully itll be more interesting as the semester progresses.

P.S. I hope you're all having a great week, most of yall are either starting classes or have already started. and to you guys i say good luck! This coming up week or two i will be uphauling the home page soon and updating photos from the recent giants game!

Harry Pooter & Juliet

So writing this in my Lit class, guys everytime im in this class i remember why i stopped doing theater. Jesus, im not whimsy enough for some of these jokes. some of yall are just loud, they breathe loudly, laugh loudly, whipsers loudly just shut up please omg. youre activly listening is dumb and makes me lose my mind.

PSA wear fucking deodorant i beg. everyone else begs.

This weekend I had spent roughly around 20 hours in a theater. We did the Harry Potter Marathon like i said we would last post. And my god, i forgot how silly the first 2 movies are and then they hella lock in for the 3rd, 4th, and 5th movie. God Damn half blood prince sucks though and then it gets better. I was HYPED for Part 2. I love love love mcgonagall so much omg.

Not must has happened today, first week of classes is done though!

only like 14 left. I did though, fix the camera my dad brought home like 2 years ago for me (then proceeded to scream in my face about how useless photography is). The camera is a Yashica Electro 35mm film camera, which if it sounds familiar, is the same camera Andrew Garfeild's Peter Parker uses in the first of his Spiderman movies. Well actually mines older, his is a GSN or sm, which came out in 1973 and mine came out in 1966. So suck it parker *said in J. Jonah. Jameson's voice*. Im proud of myself for finally doing this though, of course I took the time where I couldve done my 6 classes of homework but wtv its worth it. We wont know if it works till i finish this roll and develop it. Which btw birthday coming up. BUY ME FILM!!!! If i get one more text of "oooooooh what should i get you" since yall cant get me drinks. FILM PLEASE I NEED!!!!

...I use Kodak Ultramax 400, but i LOVE kodak portra 400. every film photographer loves portra 400 trust.

The first photo is a photo of the kind of camera that I have, and the second photo is obvi andrews camera

Giant Harry Potter

So the Giants won last night, apparently that doesn't happen much...Honestly im not much of a baseball person, so i felt really bad asking all these really stupid questions. But personality if i brought someone to a basketball game and they kept asking question id be glad to answer every question, it shows that theyre paying attention and trying to make convo. They're putting effort in. And also i got a whole new roll of film shot at the game, so if those turn out well I will be really excited to share with yall.

My Comms class today talked about the different kind of communications specifically one way communication. LIKE ads on billboards. ex) the X-Men apocalypse billboard with J-Law and Apocalypse choking her out, and then next class were gonna talk about the Syndny Sweenie ad. very exciting.

now lets talk about what im doing this weekend. TWENTRY HOURS of Harry Potter. We're doing a Harry Potter Movie Marathon at the Mall. well see how that goes.

OKAY Secound day of classes...

Currently in trig rn...bc im so dumb i need to redo Trig??? But i had my HIST 301 this morning, at 9am -_-, but another Professor Mowrer class. If you know anything about me, you know i LOVE professor Mowrer. Really excited about that class lwk, its Hisotry of Europe and the mediterranean to 1500. Which I think will touch Greece and Rome and im so excited. AND THEN NEXT SEMESTER I GET TO TAKE 302, which is just the same but from 1500 to now...its just pt2. anyways Trig is starting soon! Bye bye!

Update after Trig, Jesus that class is so fucking boring. I was FIGHTING trying not to sleep.

First Day of classes.

ok so far "first day" is a lie, techencily yes it is my first day, but ive only gone to one class. Sitting waiting for my next class to start.

Lets talk my frist class though, COMMs 351 Mass Media and Society, have no idea how discribe this class. Its a class based off of what mass media, trends and why they are trending and how it affects people. My Professor is so...intresting? im not sure how to discrbie him, he pronounced the word niche as “nitch”. which is a choice. Im really excited though, i think im gonna really enjoy this class.

kinda just sitting in my next class waiting for it start, I GOT A SWIVEL CHAIR THOUGH!!!! ok gtg will update yall after <3

also started a new Oregon Trail save file, as i do every beginning of the school year. Will keep you guys updated, Grace and Erica are both names in the party so hopefully we wont die of dysentery...no promises though, i suck at this game. Also we need to bring back smoking sections at colleges #bringbackcigerettes.

EDIT 11:15pm: guys after like 5 hours of classes, i then had to go to 4 hours of working. i am so tired. lwk idk if ill be able to do this for a whole semester. i tired.

Yooooo its been a crazy week!

And by crazy I mean all Ive done is work. pickleball, and then saw an amazing concert at Oracle Park.

I wont be talking about the conert TOO much here, that will probably be in the music page. But while at the concert the digi cam broke so I will be getting a new one of those, hopefully before I start going to kings games and the Role Model concert. But here was the fit from the concert.

More Updates

Hey y'all, I did a complete overhaul on the books page, as well as added more photos to the Photos tab. Have fun exploring!

It is my job to see your value when you can not.

Honestly tonight was one of the bests Ive had in a while. Well the last few nights away from home are going down in my history book. Although wednesday night was my favorite night, it was a stunning night with the stars, the meteors and the company. Tonight I reconnected with two of my cloestest friends while playing some golf. Then had to virtually sit down with one of my oldest friends. And had to remind her that as her friend, my job is to see her value even when she cant. She is the smartest person i know, and not only that, but she has the ability to make everyone around her smarter. She is more than whatever person she is talking to or dating. And in a fitting ending I ended the night singing Dan by Noah Kahn with my middle school best friend.

Also Sabonis dropped some new photos and...he has hair now???

New Blog Updates

Hey guys! New addition to the blog, you can now sign up to get email notifications every time I post something new. This will be my first official push notification so HI! This is pretty cool and I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I do.

New Tattoos

recently got 3 more new tattos...what that makes 10 now?? Wow am i cool yet?

The first one was a goldfish. As Coach Lasso said, "You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It's a goldfish. You know why? Got a ten-second memory. Be a goldfish." Which is just a reminder to let things go.

The second one is a T-rex from Meet the Robinsons, which is about an orphan who spends his whole life thinking about the family that abandons him, and thoughout the movie, he learns that if he just keeps moving forward his family will come.

The last one is obvious, i like baking and i bake a lot of cookies.

Hey guys the newsletter will be ready soon, so if you want to be updated via email when i post sign up!

Charlie Says Hi Guys, and hes hoping everyone is having a better day than he is. He got his ears looked at today AND a bath. sheesh poor guy.

Hadestown

As most of you guys know, when I went to New York, I went to see Hadestown on Broadway. And it was spectacular. The set was breathtaking and the singing had so much emotion behind it. Well yesterday I went to see the pro shot, for the non-theater kids reading this, it's just the show recorded professionally. And let me just say, wow, they were somehow able to capture the depth and hypnotic feeling that you can only get when watching a show live. I caught myself doing the head tilting thing I do when I'm only watching a live show, just in a trance. Alas, I do believe watching the show is still worth it, you will never be able to recreate the energy and immersion that a broadway show should have.

Would it be weird if I were to explain the blog name? well most of yall know, shady has been dubed my nickname since middle school. geuss what is found under a tree...shade. there ya go

Yall Im pretty excited to use this blog, Ive been thinking about ditching insta cuz like why else should I have it other than updating people but now I have this. And now I have an outlet to just any inside thought is now an outside thought. Anyways idk if ill even finish the Music and Book page. Will see.

First (offical) Post!!!!

Hopefully you are able to read this, if you are. HEYYYYY FIRST POST WHO THIS??? Since this is my first post I would like to send some acknowledgements. First Erica, she was the one to inspire me to make a website and helped me whenever she could. Erica's Blog As well as my friend Tiffany who helped come up with this sick ass logo. And lastly Grace, who laughed her way though reading all the bios and rough drafts.

Rules

Just a few things to keep in mind while browsing: Firslty, these events are allllllll definitely fictional. And lastly, im trying to not use spell check as often so if you find a typo, and you are the first person to know. I will personaly send you ONE WHOLE DOLLAR